He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
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Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
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In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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