At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
