The beer is more important than you right now.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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