I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
