Whatcha textin bout Willis?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
