And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
