i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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