If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
