its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
