Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
