five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
