Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize