What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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