i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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