honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
