drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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