he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
