That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
