My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
