...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
