WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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