His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
