made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
