chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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