New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
