The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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