I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
