I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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