How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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