I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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