I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize