oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
