I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
