i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
