she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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