And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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