So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
