it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Someone shattered a urinal.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
