Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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