I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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