I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
