i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
