Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
