I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
