I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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