My room smells like vodka and shame
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
