there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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