I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
