idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
