I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
