Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
