my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize