There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
