come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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