I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
