There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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