I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
