Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
