Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
