Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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