just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
