remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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