Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I yelled at your uterus for you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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