Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
