I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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